tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post4540640991201511258..comments2023-05-18T10:23:34.575+01:00Comments on Area 17: Negative space in haiku: Writing Poetry: the haiku wayArea 17http://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-7304915722003343662021-03-29T11:33:46.057+01:002021-03-29T11:33:46.057+01:00Thanks Martin!
You said:
"How long can the ...Thanks Martin!<br /><br /><br />You said:<br />"How long can the whitespace be before the poem loses meaning"<br /><br />By coincidence I just posted a duostich of mine:<br /><br />winter’s end<br />a wardrobe slaps closed<br /><br /><br />Alan Summers<br />Tinywords issue 21.1 March 2021<br /><br />I hope you enjoy the commentary!<br /><br /><br /><br />exploding sunlight<br />chrysanthemum<br /><br />snow moon<br />noise of a memory<br /><br />dead leaves<br />a sudden shift of the hollow<br /><br />I do really like these in particular. The last two do give me frisson.<br /><br />warm regards, <br />Alan<br /><br /><br />Area 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-51354023553827573992021-03-29T11:30:37.226+01:002021-03-29T11:30:37.226+01:00Thanks samoil99!Thanks samoil99!Area 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-45183035319824637472021-02-27T21:28:29.123+00:002021-02-27T21:28:29.123+00:00Alright Alan,
Let’s explore the negative space bet...Alright Alan,<br />Let’s explore the negative space between two images. How long can the whitespace be before the poem loses meaning:<br /><br />exploding sunlight<br />chrysanthemum<br /><br />Independence<br />the smell of the night sky<br /><br />snow moon<br />noise of a memory<br /><br />dead leaves<br />a sudden shift of the hollow<br /><br />chrysanthemum <br />the slowness of dusk<br /><br />winter sunlight<br />a glass of water<br /><br />Experiment in gradually expanding ma.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> <br />martin1223https://www.blogger.com/profile/13328417579414116941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-17269764579996398082015-03-01T22:14:34.877+00:002015-03-01T22:14:34.877+00:00dancing light spots...
the hidden world
behind th...<br /><br /><br />dancing light spots...<br />the hidden world <br />behind the curtain<br /><br />----<br />soul searching<br />a bird’s song lifts <br />the darkness<br /><br />sunrise<br />out of the murky waters<br />a yellow duck emerges<br /><br />---<br /><br />sunset...<br />the flight I didn't<br />dare take<br /><br />forgiven --<br />washing the mud off<br />the ripe strawberry<br />samoil99https://www.blogger.com/profile/12902006023010367775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-75722400730626010042015-02-28T21:51:52.883+00:002015-02-28T21:51:52.883+00:00That'll be great Stewart!
You can either post...That'll be great Stewart!<br /><br />You can either post or email to:<br />whitespace@withwords.org.uk<br /><br />warmest regards,<br /><br />AlanArea 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-90320742974495387842015-02-28T21:48:11.758+00:002015-02-28T21:48:11.758+00:00I'll have to see what I can turn up in my own ...I'll have to see what I can turn up in my own 'ku. :)Stewarthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00228826715633338544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-85949492117348599502015-02-27T08:44:22.543+00:002015-02-27T08:44:22.543+00:00Hi Susan,
I'd certainly be interested. You c...Hi Susan,<br /><br />I'd certainly be interested. You can always email me at: whitespace@withwords.org.uk<br /><br />Looking forward to reading it! <br /><br />warm regards,<br /><br />Alan, With WordsArea 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-4075130113735952182015-02-27T01:25:54.793+00:002015-02-27T01:25:54.793+00:00Hi Alan...
Just haiku? I have a haibun that speak...Hi Alan...<br />Just haiku? I have a haibun that speaks to the white space subject...<br /><br />Susan H. Muratahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10493060488828247882noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-58744461049359713162015-02-26T18:39:20.500+00:002015-02-26T18:39:20.500+00:00Ah, thank you Laura, I saw the haiku in my email a...Ah, thank you Laura, I saw the haiku in my email alert. I won't repeat it here, as you might not have it published yet.<br /><br />Could you email me at: whitespace@withwords.org.uk<br /><br />As the book won't be out until the end of the year, or new year 2016, it'll be published by then.<br /><br />It's a very strong haiku, and I'd be interested in including it, but in a different section in the book?<br /><br />warmest regards,<br /><br />AlanArea 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-24337994046370745472015-02-26T17:59:05.948+00:002015-02-26T17:59:05.948+00:00This comment has been removed by the author.Lollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16526692343815904632noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-37143129214145680042015-02-24T19:57:01.996+00:002015-02-24T19:57:01.996+00:00Thank you, I appreciate it!Thank you, I appreciate it!briefcandlelifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05240094281374051743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-80824100790119930962015-02-24T09:41:20.804+00:002015-02-24T09:41:20.804+00:00Thank you Alee!
I'm happy for lots of haiku t...Thank you Alee!<br /><br />I'm happy for lots of haiku to be posted at this blog topic. :-)<br /><br />warm regards,<br /><br />AlanArea 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-59044363741342838792015-02-24T01:51:03.166+00:002015-02-24T01:51:03.166+00:00Hi, Alan,
Another breaking-ground project, Alan!!...Hi, Alan,<br /><br />Another breaking-ground project, Alan!! But I love this one!!<br /><br />Here's some fresh haiku with 'negative/white' space, I hope. I could perhaps post more if allowed. How many would you want from each poet?<br /><br />winter sun<br />my offer...his turned <br />back<br /><br />underground train...<br />floating up the neon flood<br />a school of eyes<br /><br />drenched with <br />longing…the lily<br />I cannot name<br /><br />docked <br />between pines...<br />a windless<br />cloud<br /><br />when rain <br />streams off my ribs...<br />jellyfish <br /><br />bared breasts<br />against mine<br />Green MountainsAlee5https://www.blogger.com/profile/11982639038635432526noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-10552642625960708802015-02-23T23:58:16.573+00:002015-02-23T23:58:16.573+00:00Dear Agnes Eva Savich,
Thank you!
I also liked y...Dear Agnes Eva Savich,<br /><br />Thank you!<br /><br />I also liked your professor's voice haiku very much.<br /><br />warm regards,<br /><br />AlanArea 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-19956491595092265382015-02-23T23:35:01.852+00:002015-02-23T23:35:01.852+00:00Sometimes the space is what my mind fills it with ...Sometimes the space is what my mind fills it with when searching for a word, other times it's just the awareness of my thoughts bouncing around, searching for meaning in an observed scene of natural beauty;<br /><br />in the spaces<br />between trees—<br />thoughts<br /><br /><br />edge of woods<br />the silence<br />until it isn't <br /><br /><br />university<br />a rose against<br />the old stone wall<br /><br /><br />Here's another with a hidden subject in an observed space:<br /><br />lunar app<br />tells me it's waxing—<br />overcast night<br /><br />Agnes Eva Savichbriefcandlelifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05240094281374051743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-68734958390083821892015-02-23T21:36:56.750+00:002015-02-23T21:36:56.750+00:00Thanks Maureen!
Look forward to lots of people po...Thanks Maureen!<br /><br />Look forward to lots of people posting here too! :-)<br /><br />warm regards,<br /><br />AlanArea 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-34861476552151576412015-02-23T21:04:02.025+00:002015-02-23T21:04:02.025+00:00contemplation,
a butterfly
breaking free
Maureen ...contemplation,<br />a butterfly<br />breaking free<br /><br />Maureen SudlowMaureenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09596700468209829955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-58372790613737366772015-02-23T12:51:30.485+00:002015-02-23T12:51:30.485+00:00Please don't hesitate to leave your haiku in t...Please don't hesitate to leave your haiku in the comments that you think might have negative space.<br /><br />warm regards,<br /><br />AlanArea 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-26136082162510092402014-05-12T13:59:55.041+01:002014-05-12T13:59:55.041+01:00Examples of haiku with negative space and some exp...Examples of haiku with negative space and some explanation.<br /><br />Haiku have been called 'half-said things' a poem of wordlessness, or leaving things unsaid. While most poetry includes everything, haiku tends to allow the reader in as a co-author and accept the reader's own <i>poetry of completion</i>.<br /><br />AlanArea 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-81560696572889456812014-03-11T22:43:27.541+00:002014-03-11T22:43:27.541+00:00Dear Shrikaanth,
Ah ha, hence the call out for ex...Dear Shrikaanth,<br /><br />Ah ha, hence the call out for examples, to get people thinking, and consider incorporating it into their haiku.<br /><br />This is a long term project.<br /><br />warm regards,<br /><br />AlanArea 17https://www.blogger.com/profile/07472190637554124160noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23731901.post-75701630590054523072014-03-11T19:55:48.682+00:002014-03-11T19:55:48.682+00:00Hi Alan
This us quite interesting. An example or ...Hi Alan<br /><br />This us quite interesting. An example or two would help clarify better what you are looking for<br /><br />Regards<br />Shrikaanth Shrikaanthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09285715822385137601noreply@blogger.com